Happiness is...

It's the HAPPIEST happy Friday when:

- It's infact Thursday, but it's the last day of the working week
- It's followed by 5 days free of the office
- Your parents and brother are about an hour away from arriving at your house for a much anticipated visit
- Even though it's raining, you still have a smile on your face and a happy heart <3
- You will be eating chocolate for the next few days without feeling horrifically guilty about it #Eastercomesbutonceayear

Happy ThursFriday everyone :-)

I am an African

 

In one of my favourite speaches of all time, Thabo Mbeki speaks of what it is to be an African and puts poetically into words what so many of us feel about this land, but are unable to relay to others who have not yet been blessed with a trip to our shores. I wish that I had had this text to use when explaining to my boarding school friends in England that while we don't have lions roaming our streets, we do have lions on our land. Or to the curious European travellors in Zanzibar who wanted to know if Apartheid really did still exist in 2009 (because some random German lady told them that it did!) Or to the African-American who claimed that I could not call myself an African because of the colour of my skin, but he who had never before set foot on African soil could. 

I had to hack back into my Bebo account (remember that predescessor to Facebook) to find this poem which I posted on the site (324 weeks ago it tells me!) I remember clearly the first time that I read it and how it struck such a chord with me. In these words the unknown writer is able to communicate so eliquently how I feel but can't always adequately explain.

Africa
I am an African
Not because I was born there
But because my heart beats with Africa’s
I am an African
Not because my skin is black
But because my mind is engaged by Africa
I am an African
Not because I live on its soil
But because my soul is at home in Africa

When Africa weeps for her children
My cheeks are stained with tears
When Africa honours her elders
My head is bowed in respect
When Africa mourns for her victims
My hands are joined in prayer
When Africa celebrates her triumphs
My feet are alive with dancing

I am an African
For her blue skies take my breath away
And my hope for the future is bright
I am an African
For her people greet me as family
And teach me the meaning of community
I am an African
For her wildness quenches my spirit
And brings me closer to the source of life

When the music of Africa beats in the wind
My blood pulses to its rhythm
And I become the essence of music
When the colours of Africa dazzle in the sun
My senses drink in its rainbow
And I become the palette of nature
When the stories of Africa echo round the fire
My feet walk in its pathways
And I become the footprints of history

I am an African
Because she is the cradle of our birth
And nurtures an ancient wisdom
I am an African
Because she lives in the world’s shadow
And bursts with a radiant luminosity
I am an African
Because she is the land of tomorrow
And I recognise her gifts as sacred

Music is what feeling sounds like

Music has long been my happy space and I've needed the sanity it brings me now more than ever before. My newest obsession is a Cape Town vocal artist, Tailor, who's music I found by chance on iTunes. She's SA answer to Lana and Taylor and Florence and Birdie all rolled into one...and better! Her voice is like a chameleon - in each track it has a uniqueness so diverse from the last that it leaves you wondering if it really is still her singing.

And so today I'm escaping with my earphones firmly in place, hoping to disguise the fact that I sit indoors, uninspired and counting the seconds until I'm free again! Gotta love an office job right?!

The light at the end of the tunnel

So there IS in fact light at the end of the tunnel and I'm so pleased to finally be able to see a speck of it in the not to far off distance. Let's hope it's not a train on a direct path towards collision!

I've been fairly quiet on my blog due to the crazy 11+ hour days I've been pulling at work lately. Where is the gym again? What does a home cooked meal taste like again? Life has been fairly one-dimensional of late and while I'm hoping that this too will change in the near future, I'm not convinced it's a realistic wish.

Regardless, I've learnt that in order to not freak myself or the masses out, I need to keep calm and smile. No amount of anxiety or stress in even the most high pressured situations is going to help at all. Knowing this in theory is one thing, doing it in practice is still something I'm working on hard...daily.

After what has been one of the most humbling experiences of my life, I'm hoping that I've come through it slightly new and improved...a Cindy 2.0 of sorts! What's the point of living if you aren't willing to learn after all?!

The challenges will still be many, the pressure will still be large, the road will not be without potholes, but ultimately I've changed my attitude towards all this and accepted the fact that as scary as it all may be, it will hopefully all be worth it in one way or another...one day!

The Success Indicator

I feel like this morning is the first time I can breathe again at work since about 3 weeks ago (and as a result this is my first post in just as long!) In one of my last posts relating to leadership I touched on some of the issues I've been grappling with recently and the past few weeks have continued to give me much food for thought.

Without getting into all the gory details, I've had to take a step back and review myself. People always say that self awareness is one of the most valuable traits in successful people and I'm seeing now exactly why this is so. In light of this, I sought out more information on exactly what it is that sets successful people apart and how one can start the journey of self improvement. I came across this awesome illustration (despite the spelling error on it - but who am I to judge!) which I now have stuck firmly on my office wall.



And so, in all my interactions (not only at work) I'm trying my best to "exude joy, embrace change, have a sense of gratitude, compliment, forgive, accept responsibility for failures, continuously learn..." It hasn't been easy in all circumstances but I'm hoping that at some stage the much needed positive change will come and that things will improve.