Keep Calm and Keep Quiet

My mom always told me that if I didn't have anything nice to say, I shouldn't say anything at all. In a nutshell, this explains my long absense from blogging. It's been a tough few months. Scrap that. It's been a tough year. In my head, in my office, in my car...where my most negative thoughts seem to take place! In fact, substitute the words love for work and sister for mother in the Katy Perry song "By the Grace of God" and you pretty much have my 2013 summarized.

And it's by the grace of God that I'm finally feeling like I'm in a better head-space. That and the fact that the light at the end of the tunnel (shutdown from work) is in 4 weeks (and counting!) I've been getting back into the routines that keep me sane: morning sermon podcasts, going to cell and church regularly, giving back to those less fortunate and stopping those pesty negative thoughts when they come into my head.

There is so much that has been happening that has allowed for self doubt to creep in, self confidence to be obliterated and it's been a constant struggle to balance it all. In every exciting situation, I find the stress, am unsure, second guess myself... And this hasn't gone away but I'm really trying to remember the positives, to be excited despite all the uncertainty. It's become even more clear to me that I hate not being in control, hate not knowing what the next months bring, hate not knowing where I'll be living in 3 months time.

But it's time to cease the day, live it, enjoy it, love every moment of it. Yes the stress will come, the uncertainty remains - but in trying to approach it in a more positive manner, hopefully good things will come and the self fulfilling prophesy wheel will spin with more good fortune than bad.

Keep Calm and Blog On

If this blog was my child, then it would well and truely be a delinquent by now with the amount of neglect I've inflicted on it! I went on leave for a week mid-June and basically haven't returned to blogging since. Here's a quick catch up of whats happened in the past month:

- Had a good friend visit from Australia with two of his mates and got to play tourist / tour guide for a little while in Cape Town, drank lots of wine and ate even more food, made new friends and watched him jump of Blaaukranz (with a bungy rope of course) 
- Drove home (about 13 hours), had some great family time with my family as well as my man's (have I mentioned that he has the cutest nieces and nephews of all time?!) then watched my beautiful cousin get married and drove back to the mountain (24 hours of driving happened in the space of 4 days!)
- Lots of change at work...new boss, new team dynamic, new projects...blah blah blah
- My oldest friend got engaged! Was so exciting to meet up with the happy couple for breakfast directly after he popped the question!
- Visited Franschhoek for my first ever Bastille Day - lots of fun
- Watched some rugby at Newlands (and plenty of it on the telly)
- Went on diet...more on this to follow in subsequent posts I'm sure
- Generally vegged out in this cold and gloomy weather

So now that I'm all caught up, I'm hoping to put the past "blog-free" month behind me and get back into the swing of things. I anticipate that I'm going to be needing the thereputic release that it provides me in the coming weeks ;-)

Extra special HAPPY FRIDAY

Whoo Hoo! It's Friday at last! Never before have I been so happy to see Friday - Why you ask? Let me list why:

- I've been looking forward to taking leave since I arrived back at work in January...it's been a rough year so far but it's good to be back in a good space and ready to take a break
- It's been a super busy week with lots going on at work and outside of work
- I'm going to my second cooking class at Chez Gourmet (the first was a Japanese Cooking class and this time I'll be learning all about the baking process - breads, roti's etc.) Can't wait - YUM!
- We're going home! Now that I'm not working in the EC as much, I'm really missing my monthly trips back home so it will be great to catch up with family over our short stay there
- I'm going to finally start watching the 3rd season of Downton Abbey. I left it over a month ago at a happy cliffhanger after the Christmas Special and can't wait to see what happens next
- There will be some lovely eating out taking place no doubt with friends bday celebrations and a few more days with friends visiting from Aus. It's great to be a tourist in your own city for a little while

Happy Youth Day for Sunday, Happy Friday for today :-)

There is no place like home

Although for the past (almost) 3 years Cape Town has well and truely been my home, there is something special about the place that you call home - especially when it's as unique as the Lower Albany area! In a little over a week (8 days to be exact #excitedmuch) we'll be making the long drive home for a couple of days in the good old Eastern Cape.

The 10 / 12 hours being couped up in a car with plenty of padkos (my mom taught me well), my man and our unique mix of music will well be worth it. We'll be cramming as much time possible with both of our families during our 2 and a bit days there. I'm also looking forward to great biltong, a Nanaga roosterbrood, the famous lime milkshake which is the saving grace of slumtown and the upright piano waiting for me at my parents house.

And then of course, there is the reason for the season - my little cuz is getting married and no one loves a wedding more than I do (even if it's another one to leapfrog me *winkwinknudgenudge*) No seriously, no one deserves a special day more than this special lady. I love and respect her enourmously and will no doubt need a couple of tissues to keep the tears at bay!

Clear Eyes, Warm Hearts, Can't Lose

It's been a really good week but a a busy one so TGIF! I'm normally fairly reclusive on week nights - not this week. Between work dinners, social dinners and a little down time, I've found my way back to a happy and more positive space.

I met up with my ex-boss from the "armpit of Africa" office who was such an encouragement to me, making me see that good in various work situations and giving me a far more positive outlook on my 8 to 5 life. He really has become a great mentor to me and I'm truely greatful for this input at the moment.

Then, I put my cooking skills to the test and had 3 of my ladies over for our first "pasta and prayer" night. I promise that my cooking on the night was closely monitored by my man who called me to check on the progress and give some helpful hints before they arrived. Food aside, what an awesome night of connecting with the girls and sharing our lives. Nowadays so many of our new friendships are lived in a very superficial space and never really make it into the stage or depth that some of our longer standing friendships do. It was awesome to be honest and real and share the truths of our lifes making all of us feel more normal and less alone!

This week I also discovered podcasts on my iPad (I'm hugely technicologically challenged you see so it did take me a while) and I've been loving listening to hugely motiviating stories, money matters etc. It's my new favourite thing and I can't wait for my data bundle to kick in tomorrow morning so that I can download some more!

In what must be one of my favourite series ever, Friday Night Lights, Coach Taylor's famous saying is "clear eyes, warm hearts, can't lose." I feel like this week, I've without knowing it, been able to live with clear eyes and a warm heart. Clear eyes because I've been able to put into perspective all that has been going on, seperating the person from the problem (as Arnold Mol teaches) and as a result, being a little less stressed out. Seeing that I'm not alone in my worries or my fears has also helped me in seeing that I'm not paranoid in this and that a burden shared is a burden halved. Warm hearts because I've been able to remember elements of my role that I used to love and have tried to seek out more of these things to incorporate into my work and personal life (prehaps some further studies lie ahead in my future!) Knowing what I'm passionate about has helped me to feel that there is more to my current work life and hopefully I'm able to make positive steps forward in achieiving this.

So over all, it's been a great week. But man oh man am I glad it's Friday - excitement like Dillon supporters felt as the lights came on and the Panthers were about to run out onto the field! Happy Friday :-)

The Exchange

What do you mean I can't buy any of the clothes in your store? A question I'm sure that many have asked when visiting one of Cavindish's newest stores, The Exchange. As the world's first cashless boutique, all they ask is that you sign up to become and Organ Donor and you can leave with a garment or accessory from one of SA's top 25 designers.

Unfortunately for those of us who have already signed up, we'll leave the store empty handed, but what an amazing way to encourage more people to save lives. To find out more visit: The Exchange

Think Happy Thoughts

It's a slippery slide, our mind. Get into a sticky situation in one area of your life, unable to see the positive in the situation and all of a sudden the whole world sucks! I realised a little while ago that I was letting small things that weren't ideal, granted, dictate my outlook on many other things and ultimately this was distroying my "thought life." As my brother has told me many times, I will FIND something to stress about. I've found myself becoming increasingly negative in my mind and this has now flowed over into my words. I definitely don't want to be that person who never has anything nice to say!

And so, in thinking about how to rectify this solution, I've come up with the following "how to think happy thoughts" guide:

 - WWGD (What Would Gran Do) - My gran is without a doubt the most insanely positive person that I know, and probably ever will know. She's almost positive to a fault. When ever that nagging negative pops up I'm going to thing WWGD!

- Be Grateful - Early on in my blog life, I wrote about all the things that I'm grateful for in my life. Prehaps rereading and recapping on this would be a good idea every once in a while ;-)

- Put it all in context - every day I drive past a beggar, a homeless person, someone with way bigger and more pressing issues on their mind. Take a chill pill. Have a glass of wine. Build a bridge. Get over it!

- Stop the repetition - if you've thought about it once, move on! Stop the endlessly repetative loop that one senario or thought get's airtime for in your mind
- Have a "looking forward to" list - ever since my homesick days at boarding school I've always made little lists in my mind of things to look forward to in that day or that week. It can be the smallest thing ever (like going home to watch your favourite show) but it really helps to have something, ANYTHING, to look forward to when you're down.

So here's to keeping calm and thinking happy thoughts from now on!