So I had a mini-meltdown the other day. In fact, I'm sure that my man would agree that they word 'mini' does not adequately describe the meltdown he witnessed. Let's use the word 'major' then. I had a major-meltdown the other day.
It was the perfect storm: some of my deepest insecurities and fears were touched on, added to them, my hate of any form of conflict was exposed as well as many of my worst pet peeves. All in the space of a couple of hours. I'm a person who likes to be in control, to have a long-term plan, to know what is coming next. And everything that went down on this particular day, put me (or made me believe in a the highly-emotional state that I was in) totally out of control.
The result? Tears. And lots of them! It was hardly a graceful or beautiful sight. No, I think it is safe to say that it was a totally unattractive few hours on my part! And what did my amazing man do? Run? Laugh? Head for the hills? Nope - he was just there: calm, logical, rational, supportive. After a long cuddle and attempts to get me laughing again, the worst was past and feeling like I'd just run a marathon, I curled in a ball and slept like an angel.
Looking back, it REALLY wasn't the biggest deal, but I suppose that's the 'joy' of being a women. We get hurt by the small stuff, we worry about our happiness and the delicate balance we have to maintain in order to keep it, we hope that we are strong enough to face the storms - but sometimes we aren't - and that realisation in itself is hurtful to our proud, independant exterior.
One thing that I did realise through this ordeal is that I can't control everything that will happen in the future and that it's not realistic to think that I'll be able to avoid conflict at all costs. I suppose that's life...the real, unpleasant, underside to all the upsides we experience. I'm just very grateful that this time I had someone by myside to (try to!) keep me calm and cuddle me ;-)
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